This Week in Walrus Penis Heists, Actually Good TV, and Dua Lipa Diet Coke
Everything You Need to Know This Weekend And Several Things You Don’t
🚨BIG NEWS
Woman arrested with bag of drugs labeled “Definitely not a bag full of drugs”
I respect her commitment to the bit.
Beloved Walrus Penis stolen from NJ Cheesesteak restaurant: Donkey’s Place
The owner is reportedly “blubbering mad”
‘Stop sending butt plugs to Bahrain’: Toronto sex store receives letters from Department of War
“Stop sending butt plugs to Bahrain” feels like a phrase that should automatically unlock a Pulitzer nomination.
Lawyer representing Elon Musk in OpenAI legal battle with Sam Altman is also a Working Clown
He has a successful ‘Clown Cardio’ business
We’ve solved one of the mysteries of space
Strange little red dots in space are actually baby black holes. I love when something capable of ripping apart entire galaxies is described as “baby.”
Dog wins acting award over Ethan Hawke and Alison Brie
Ruff competition. But a well-deserved treat. Fetch that trophy!
But Scientists discover Dogs aren’t man’s only best friends. Horses are too
This study confirms what horse girls have been saying loudly for decades. If anything, this feels like science playing catch-up with Tumblr circa 2014. Also, horses can smell fear, so be nice.
Speaking of horses, Kawasaki going into production on a robot horse
Gid.E.Up This is either the future of transportation or how the rapture arrives.
Of all the things coming out of CES, my favorite inventions are:
Technology is finally addressing the problems that matter.
And exo-skeleton robot legs you can strap on to do the hiking for you
Again, technology is finally addressing the problems that matter.
China’s hottest app is a daily test of whether you’re still alive.
U Alive?
Homes are becoming more grey. We just woke up one day and everything looked like an Apple Store and a sad divorce. Here’s the proof.
📺 TV WORTH WATCHING
This week is another big one. We are in an embarrassment-of-riches phase of the TV calendar. (which is why this is a little late)
Tell Me Lies (Hulu)
One of the most addicting shows about toxic relationships and emotional manipulation on television is back and more toxic than ever. Every episode makes you want to text your friends.” Comfort viewing for people who like discomfort.
A Knight of the 7 Kingdoms (HBOMax)
Set a century before Game of Thrones, this follows a knight and his squire wandering Westeros on a series of small, human-scale adventures. There are no dragons. No massive battles but it’s genuinely funny, emotionally engaging, and episodes run a breezy 30 minutes. It’s already been picked up for Season 2 and it hasn’t even aired yet.
Ponies (Peacock)
A Cold War spy thriller where “PONIES” means Persons Of No Interest. The kind of women intelligence agencies assume are invisible, which makes them perfect. Emilia Clarke and Haley Lu Richardson play two women whose husbands die on a mission in Moscow. Instead of going home and grieving quietly, they get pulled into espionage, posing as secretaries at the U.S. Embassy while learning tradecraft on the fly. It’s part spy story, part friendship story, with a central mystery and very satisfying analog Cold War vibes. All eight episodes dropped at once, so you can absolutely mainline this.
Agatha Christie Seven Dials (Netflix)
A three-episode Agatha Christie mini that starts with a lavish country house party and then unfolds into murder, secrets, and a darling young aristocrat.
It’s got a great pedigree, it’s adapted by Chris Chibnall from Broadchurch, with Martin Freeman and Helena Bonham Carter in the mix. If you want a tidy, watchable mystery that doesn’t require eight hours of emotional stamina, this is a very solid weekend pick.
Star Trek: Starfleet Academy (Paramount+)
A young-adult series set at a literal academy in the Star Trek universe. Teen drama, space uniforms, feelings, and training simulations. If you’ve ever wanted Star Trek to feel like a coming-of-age show, here you go.
Girl Taken (Paramount+)
A bleak, gripping crime drama about twin sisters in a rural UK town whose lives are shattered when one is kidnapped.
A Thousand Blows S2 (Hulu)
Fresh off their Golden Globe wins for Adolescence, Stephen Graham and Erin Doherty return with more brutal, high-stakes power struggles in Victorian London’s East End. There are rival gangs, underground boxing matches, female thief crews, and the ever-menacing Elephant Boys.
They also confirmed Adolescence Season 2 is coming.
All Creatures Great and Small (PBS)
This is the Great British Bake Off of medical shows. A country vet in 1930s Yorkshire, tending to animals and quietly restoring your faith in humanity.
Prehistoric Planet: Ice Age (Apple)
I avoided this for too long because I’ve seen the La Brea Tar Pits 3D movie approximately 30 times. Mistake. This is spectacular.
Fun fact from the Tar Pits: The reason there are giant old oak trees up and down the Pacific coast is because prehistoric giant sloths would eat the acorns and then poop them out while traveling up and down the coast. Nature is wild.
The Valley: Persian Style (Peacock)
I wanted to give this a few episodes, especially since Shahs ended in such a dark place. If you’re invested in the extended universe, you’ll know pretty quickly whether this works for you because these people still deliver.
IF YOU CAN ONLY WATCH ONE
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Completely manageable. Deeply charming. Already a classic.
STILL WATCHING
Fallout
The lingering question: was it the radiation that poisoned the world, or humanity itself? Also announced this week: Fallout Shelter, an unscripted competition series. Perhaps that will answer something for us.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Angie K is right about one thing. She does give herself a great blowout. Glassy. Shiny. Impeccable.
FINALES
Landman
This is coming at the right time. And just to say it publicly: Sam Elliott does not look like he’s dying. He still looks like he could take down half the cast in a fight. Including Taylor Sheridan.
🎬 MOVIES WORTH WATCHING
STREAMING
The Rip (Netflix)
Is Teyana Taylor the coolest person on the planet?
Did Ben Affleck write scenes specifically so he could smoke indoors?
Who killed the captain?
Who’s dirty?
Where’s the cartel?
Can I pet that dog?
These are all appropriate questions while watching this Matt Damon/Ben Affleck cop movie about TNT, a special Miami police unit, and one “rip,” meaning the seizure of illicit cash, drugs, weapons from the bad guys.
Also worth noting: Affleck and Damon structured the deal so every single person on the cast and crew gets a performance bonus if the movie does well.
So watch it because it’s entertaining.
And also because it helps a lot of middle-class people who work in Hollywood.
Twinless (Hulu)
2 guys who’ve lost their respective twin brothers develop a friendship after meeting at a support group…until more is revealed. Dylan O Brien is very good in this
Roofman (Paramount+)
Channing Tatum playing a charmingly unbothered criminal hiding out in a big box store. The kind of movie you put on during a Saturday afternoon, fold laundry, and still enjoy every time you look up. Comfort food cinema.
Bugonia (Peacock)
A darkly funny, deliberately unhinged sci-fi thriller about two conspiracy-obsessed men who kidnap a powerful pharmaceutical CEO because they’re convinced she’s an alien sent to destroy Earth. Emma Stone is the CEO. Jesse Plemons is one of the kidnappers and they’re both excellent! Yes, it’s as strange as it sounds but It fully commits to the bit, knows exactly what kind of movie it is, and dares you to keep up and has a real twist of an ending.
THEATERS
28 Years Later: Bone Temple
Brutal, relentless, and genuinely unsettling in a way that reminds you why this franchise worked in the first place. Civilization is more broken, survival is uglier, and hope is not guaranteed.
🏈 SPORTS CORNER
The NFL playoffs are officially underway. Still in the NFL playoffs: The Bills, Broncos, 49ers, Seahawks, Texans, Patriots, Rams, and Bears. All playing this weekend for a spot in the Conference Championships, and eventually, Super Bowl LX (February 8), where Bad Bunny is performing at halftime.
The Los Angeles 2028 Summer Olympics ticket lottery is officially open. This is your reminder that the only thing more stressful than trying to get Taylor Swift tickets is realizing the Olympics are happening in your city and you are expected to plan ahead.
It’s mid-season in the NBA and the NHL But an interesting cultural crossover: Hudson Williams, the star of Heated Rivalry has shared that closeted athletes have reached out after seeing the character. Which feels quietly significant in a sport that rarely talks about this stuff out loud.
📚 BOOKS WORTH READING
The biggest book news of the week: The author of Game Changer, which Heated Rivalry is based on, announced there will be a sequel.
The second biggest book story is actually a livestream. Kai Cenat has committed to reading for 30 minutes a day on stream. He’s currently reading Atomic Habits and inspiring a whole generation to read again. We love to see it (Atomic Habits Explained Here)
The Correspondent by Virginia Evans
This is having a real word-of-mouth moment. A retired lawyer in her seventies who makes sense of her life through the letters she writes and receives, to friends, family, even famous authors, revealing regrets, joys, and the wisdom of age. It’s reflective, emotional, beautifully written, and about the unexpected power of connection in a world that rarely stops talking.
🎧 PODCASTS WORTH HEARING
Big podcast news: Pete Davidson is getting a “video podcast” on Netflix. Or, as those of us born before 1995 call it: a talk show.
In honor of the inaugural Golden Globes podcast category, here are the best places to start with each nominee
Good Hang
The first ten minutes of the very first show (Tina Fey) deserve to be studied. Hall of Fame podcasting.
• Seth Meyers
• Mike Schur (Philly Justice)
SmartLess
• George Clooney
• Will Ferrell
• Kathryn Hahn
• Bill Hader
Call Her Daddy
• Miley Cyrus
• The Gluck Gluck 9000
• Hailey Bieber
• Paris Hiton and Nicole Richie
• Post Malone
Armchair Expert
If it feels like therapy with microphones, you’re in the right place.
• Matthew McConaughey
• The recent episode with Kristen Bell and Cher is something else
• Anna Kendrick
• Drew Barrymore
• Dax’s Mom
Mel Robbins
She helpfully has a Most Popular section on her website. I like the ones with numbers in the titles (7 Day Reset) and the classic: Let them.
Up First
Not episode specific by design but the fastest way to understand what is happening in the world in under fifteen minutes
🥤FOOD WORTH EATING
As a general rule I would like to live my life more like Dua Lipa. She seems to have a truly excellent life traveling, eating, reading, writing, dancing. What a life! So. when I saw this recipe go viral last year with all its pickle juice and peppers I knew I had to try it, and it holds up. I wish I had tried it on a warm summers day but still good
The MoMA Faux Food Pop-Up Shop
The Museum of Modern Art opened a fake grocery store, and it’s exactly as charming and surreal as it sounds.
For some ungodly reason, Progresso Soup Drops are back. For those of you who want soup flavored candy.
Ali Slagle consistently makes delicious viral recipes for the NY Times and writes possibly the most helpful substack you’ve ever read about cooking. Start with the 40 Ingredients to always have on hand in your pantry, and then every recipe goes from there.
Have you ever seen a cuter tequila? Mushroom-shaped bottle, adaptogens, and strong “someone brought this to a dinner party and everyone talked about it” energy.
I love that these ironically named little chocolate treats are the perfect size for an afternoon sweet treat and packaged in a little cigarette type box and have proven equally addictive.
📱 RABBIT HOLES
An update on 365 Buttons
The New York Times did a story on this, and Tara, the woman behind the buttons, refused to speak to them. Which honestly feels correct. As she has said from the beginning, “it only has to make sense to me.” Live your best button life, Tara..
Instagram says the “polished feed” is dead
According to Instagram’s head, posting pretty photos is over because AI killed it. Somehow this is also allegedly the fault of camera companies, which feels like blaming Big Toothpaste for cavities.
What is clear: Instagram is prioritizing content meant to appeal to very broad audiences, not your existing followers. Between testing Reels as the home screen and rolling out a new TV reels app, the message is obvious. Post video, and post it for strangers, not your friends.
So…if you want to follow me on Instagram I’m @nicolleyaron where I do none of those things. I mostly just repost cool things to Stories, FOR MY FRIENDS and I’ve been answering a lot of “I liked this show you recommended, what else would I like?” messages, which I enjoy.
The biggest trend of the week was… 2016
People are posting photos from ten years ago and romanticizing that era hard. The lighting. The outfits. Optimism. A collective yearning for a time before everything was a subscription and your phone hated you.
The AI Monkey Video
This is the fifth most-watched YouTube video of 2025. I am not linking directly to YouTube because I care about you and your algorithm. Instead, here is a tweet with the video embedded. Trust me when I say this is enough exposure.
Gourmet magazine is back–but not technically sanctioned
Because Condé Nast let the trademark lapse and someone grabbed it. Which feels very on-theme for 2026. Media brands are ghosts now. Anyone can resurrect them if they move fast enough. Has anyone checked in on Daily Candy? Comedy Central? Highlights for Kids?
Can you read 900 words a minute?
Someone built a tool to test this, it went viral, and, yes, you absolutely must try it
New slang alert: Choppelgänger
Your doppelgänger, but “Chopped” meaning noticeably uglier. Extremely rude. Immediately useful.
Jessica is the new Karen
Jessica was the most popular baby name in the U.S. from 1985 to 1990, making it deeply millennial coded. A tough break for a generation that truly believed aging was optional.
Speaking of Millennials Aging
A comedian went viral talking about the millennial midlife crisis. It is no longer about sports cars. It is about hobbies. Emotional fulfillment. And finding one thing that is just for you.
These 2007 Etsy staff outfits
So many socks. So many side ponies. A museum-quality archive of early internet earnestness.
Is Craigslist the last real place on the internet?
Ugly, functional, unmonetized, and still doing exactly what it promised to do.
If you’ve been reading for a while, you know I love scammer content. This Vanity Fair article about a stylist running an extremely New York–coded scam is no exception. “Every New Yorker is running some sort of scam” Not no.
People Can’t Stop Sending Voice Notes
Why are Men Obsessed with Watching YouTube
Why so many men are permanently parked in front of autoplay.
I love this TikTok account where two guys spin a wheel, land on a country, and then go eat food at a NYC restaurant from that country. I cried at Bhutan. Full tears.
MTV Rewind
A beautifully dangerous site that lets you relive MTV by year. You will lose time. I am not sorry.
The artist to know right now: Szilveszter Makó
Photographer, creative director, visual brain behind some of the most striking recent fashion imagery. I first clocked his work in a Zara Halloween editorial, then again in The Cut’s First Lady of New York shoot, and most recently in the Elle Fanning spread for Who What Wear. It’s stunning. Once you see it, you will see it everywhere.
Bryan Johnson Gets Sexy
The biohacker longevity guy who famously transfuses his son’s blood is now busy writing deeply weird erotic poetry about his girlfriend on X. This article calls him “Byron Johnson,” which made me laugh
“I slip my hand under her shirt and brush the small of her back. Goosebumps spread like a wildfire across her body. Her hypothalamus stimulates the release of GnRH, which tells the pituitary gland to wake up her reproductive system. Our olfactory systems consume each other with delight, signaling immune system compatibility.”
🛍️ THINGS WORTH BUYING
Needlepoint is back.
Yes, needlepoint. The grandma-coded craft is having a real fashion moment, showing up everywhere from runway accessories to very chic handbags. Fendi is selling a Baguette bag with an embroidery kit so you can customize it yourself. It costs $3,890 so you are paying nearly four thousand dollars to do arts and crafts, which is either deeply unwell or kind of perfect for 2026. Possibly both. The short version is: people are craving analog hobbies that produce something tangible you can hold, not just post
Bricking your phone is the new Dry January.
This one keeps coming up in real life. “Bricking” means using a small gadget that physically blocks social media on your phone, without fully turning it off. Two different people mentioned it to me at a party, and Hailee Steinfeld wrote it in her What Went Down at the Golden Globes wrap-up.
The idea is not to disappear or go full flip-phone, but to make scrolling just inconvenient enough that you stop doing it automatically. According to this article, Bricking is officially the New Dry January, and yes, they are currently running a New Year’s sale.
Not to brag, but 2 people at a party recently told me my skin looked great. The only two things I’ve been doing differently:
First: these color changing pink salmon DNA K-beauty masks that TikTok would not shut up about. Annoyingly, they work. You look like a glass-skinned person who drinks green juice and sleeps eight hours.
Second: a home IPL device.
I flush easily from alcohol, heat, and basic human embarrassment, which leads to broken capillaries. Instead of pretending this wasn’t happening, I bought a home IPL machine to deal with it myself. It helps reduce redness, works as a hair-removal laser, and also claims to reduce wrinkles, which feels like an overachiever move.
✅ EXTREMELY HELPFUL TIP OF THE WEEK
You can take a screenshot on your iphone by double-tapping the back of it.
No buttons. No fumbling. No accidentally locking your phone instead.
How to turn it on
Settings → Accessibility → Touch → Back Tap →Choose Double Tap → Select Screenshot
This will immediately become muscle memory and you will wonder how you ever lived without it.
🔚 AND FINALLY…
What I’m working on accepting in 2026
👋 BEFORE YOU GO
Quick question for you:
I used to do a midweek Explainer entry, breaking down books, TV shows, or trends, and then I had to drop it at the end of last year when deadlines piled up and my brain left my body.
But I was looking back at the numbers recently, and some of the most opened, saved, and replied-to entries of this newsletter were:
Stop Looking at Your Phone, the explainer of Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
Let Them by Mel Robbins
And Wuthering Heights
So I’m curious: should I bring the Explainers back?
And if yes, is there a book, show, or trend you’d want me to tackle this year?
Hit reply or comment and tell me what you want explained, or just say “yes, bring them back.” I read everything.
Next week: Season 2 of one of the best shows nobody watched, a new Ryan Murphy series, and a Netflix live event where a man climbs a skyscraper and gives me a heart attack.
it’s on my to do list for Wednesday. Will report back!
This was great and we need your take on Will Smith's Pole to Pole unless I missed - I'm new here!!